Learning to Embrace Imposter Syndrome When It Hits
Ever feel like you are in over your head? Feel like you're doubting yourself and your work? Welp, I do too, and usually I find myself crying in my bathtub, or hiding in my bed at 7PM with a book to avoid my problems.
And THAT’S OK.
Did you know that imposter syndrome affects 82% of young people?†
Imposter syndrome is an uphill battle, but it’s one you can learn to embrace and overcome at your own pace and in your own way.
I’ve learned to embrace it and manage it whenever I feel an imposter syndrome flare-up coming. It’s not a one-size-fits-all approach, but these have worked for me and I hope these methods help you!
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome (IS) is a behavioral health phenomenon described as self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals. This feeling is especially common in the workplace, but can manifest itself in any part of life: a new job, new responsibilities, new opportunities, or other.
Those with imposter syndrome typically will go to great lengths to hide it, which can stunt further growth or success. Rather than believing they are good enough to receive these commendations or praise, or reach these achievements or strides they are making, they often feel instead that they are a fraud and that they are not good enough to have done so.
Imposter syndrome is most often tied to our identities and sense of self-worth. There are a variety of reasons why a person may experience imposter syndrome ranging from perfectionism to status to family upbringing, and more. Regardless of the cause, however, imposter syndrome results in reduced self-confidence and the inability to celebrate your well-deserved success.
How do I combat imposter syndrome?
As a business owner, I have spent many nights crying in my bathtub wondering if I should just quit and “get a normal job.” Owning and running a business is HARD — and you know what? That’s OK.
When that imposter syndrome hits, it’s important to know that it never really goes away. The brain is a tricky little thing, but no matter how much you work at it, unfortunately, it will come back. BUT, that doesn’t mean to give up or give into those thoughts.
Here’s what I do when I am feeling down and ready to shut it ALL down:
01. Your attitude is everything. Think: is it a bad day OR a bad five minutes?
Even when the going gets tough, knowing that it's only temporary is half of the battle. It's not a matter of being positive all of the time and pushing the false sense of "everything is GREAT." But instead, it's about responding to the circumstances triggering this feeling as opposed to reacting and blowing it out of proportion.
This is usually your opportunity to take a step back from what you’re doing and assess what is going on. Yes, that means putting down your phone and moving away from your computer. Ask yourself: Do I feel this way because what I am doing is new? Or is it because I am being challenged against my values? Honestly, sometimes it's because I haven't had a good night's sleep.
Either way, be gentle with yourself! (I could use my own advice as I write this).
02. When you achieve, CELEBRATE in whatever way is the most authentic to YOU.
One of the hardest things to do when feeling like an imposter is to actually accept your wins and what you have been able to achieve. We often get so focused on the outcomes of our work that we forget to honor ourselves because we worry it’s a waste of time, or because it may make us seem like ‘show-offs’, but it’s so important for you to celebrate your wins, no matter how small or big.
I’ve been celebrating my wins weekly and quarterly, and now, monthly through our new monthly newsletters we started here at JDP. It’s important for you to celebrate in your own way! For me, that usually involves a delicious meal at my favorite restaurant, a day at the spa, or a pair of designer shoes.
But, it doesn’t have to be material items — it could even be a day off to spend time relaxing, or spending time with the family. It also doesn’t have to be public — celebrating your wins personally is also a win in itself. There’s no one single way to celebrate your success. Just do it.
03. Talk to people you admire.
Whether these people are in my field directly, or just fellow business owners, I always make time to learn from those who have been through it. The best way to the other side is through.
By chatting, reading or learning from others that you aspire to be like, they’ll help to create common humanity around not feeling good enough. They will share their moments, too, of crying in the bathtub or being on the breaking point of their careers and ultimately, how they persevered.
Stories are what motivate us as humans as we all want to feel understood and less isolated. By listening to the stories from others, it will help immensely with feeling like an imposter.
Don’t let imposter syndrome hinder you from moving forward and becoming the person you aspire to be. One lesson I always remember from the book, The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday (as I outline in my 5 Books You Must Read blog post) is that obstacles are a part of the process. Instead of being victimized by the obstacle, overcome and learn from it instead.
Tell Imposter Syndrome to take a WALK. ;)
HI THERE, I’M JORDYN
Serial entrepreneur, strategic integrator and financial aficionado.
My mission is to revolutionize the way businesses grow with strategic clarity and implementation. It goes beyond consultancy—as I want to be a dedicated partner in propelling your success with strategy and impactful execution with zest and honesty.